Too Fabulous for Words: If this Kid Comes Out with a Tail, We'll Know why

(Or a digression from actually posting a re-cap of all the things I promised)

I'm a big fan of water. Like I drag around a cup full of it all day long. Going to the store? Where's my ice water? Finished throwing up? Drink more water!

At night I fill up my glass full of ice and water because I'm always thirsty when I get up to pee at 4:00 am. The other night I happened to wake up at 12:30 because one of the kids was having a nightmare, which was very loud and terribly disturbing because I'm pretty sure I was having a sexy dream. Kids! They can be so rude!

Anyway, after I crawled back into bed after tucking said child back into bed, I was disturbed once more a few minutes later by a disgusting licking sound coming from near my pillow. I assumed it was one of the cats who decided that washing herself next to my head was a FAB idea. I waved my hand around but couldn't find the source of the licking. AGGGH, the licking, the endless licking. Finally I turned over to see Miss Lily Cat sitting on my bedside table enjoying a cool, refreshing drink from my water glass.

GAHHHHH.

How disgusting is that?

I shooed her away in a not-so-nice fashion and tried to keep away visions of me drinking water that was swirling with cat food particles, fur and GOD-KNOWS-WHAT-ELSE that the cat may have been licking and or eating. (This is the cat who can spend a good hour licking a plastic grocery bag.)

When I woke up at 4-ish for my most reliable pee of the day, I found Basil (she of the rodentia-eating variety) sitting on my bedside table about to have a good long slurp of MY water, because apparently drinking water out of cat bowls is so yesterday. Today's cats want bottled water! With ice! In a glass, dammit!

I then woke up the husband to announce that the cats have been imbibing from my water glass for who-the-fuck-knows-how-long and that perhaps this baby will one day enjoy chasing catnip toys around the house and dining on its siblings left-over cereal. AND NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DRINK WATER AT NIGHT WITHOUT SHARING IT WITH THE REST OF THE FELINE HOUSEHOLD?

His solution?

Start drinking out of a sippy cup.