Hi5 This

I keep getting weird emails from hi5.com that state 'Here are some people you may know!" and then there is a bunch of people's avatars that all resemble mugshots of convicted pedophiles. And I smack my head and say, "Oh, YES, there are my friends from Cellblock Seven! I would love to catch up with Reginald and Roy." No, what I really say is, "Who the hell signed me up for hi5?" Because a) I don't know what the fuck it is and b) It smacks of a pedophile dating service which is weird because I don't think I've ever found a toddler sexy.

[Now if there was a Mario Lopez dating service...SIGN ME UP, BABY.]

This is the last full week of school and can I just say, THANK GOD? Because holy crap I am tired of making lunches. Feeding my children is so over-rated. As is cleaning my house and watching my neighbor mow his lawn.

Speaking of cleaning my house, I have had a new cleaning lady coming in every other week for the past few months. She is, by far, the best cleaning lady we have ever had. Her name is Katie and she has four kids, runs a home daycare and still has time to go around to lazy people's houses (like me) and clean her brains out. The first time she came to the house to clean, she gave us a little flyer that she had printed out showcasing her services. Which the husband then took and edited for grammar and syntax. Which he then gave back to her. And how Katie didn't kick him in the gut and promptly leave is beyond me.

But Katie continues to come back. She's told us stories about how she and her whole family take kung fu and so now the husband refers to her as Kung Fu Katie and somehow she's perfectly fine with it.

But the best thing about KFK is her emails to me. They are written like this and it makes my whole day when I get an email from her:

Subj: THIS SATURDAY!!

HEY KIMBER,

IT'S KATIE!

JUST WONDERING IF I CAN COME BY AROUND 12:30 ON SATURDAY. LET ME KNOW!

THANKS SO MUCH!!

Oh my god, it just cracks me up. She's the best thing my mother-in-law has ever recommended to me. And Emmersen absolutely loves her. She follows her around the house and peppers her with a zillion questions, such as, "Katie, have you ever milked a cow?" Which she always tries to answer in the nicest way. I like to tell her she's like part cleaning lady and part Mary Poppins. After the plethora of cleaning lady flops we've had over the years, it's like we've won the lottery.

Emmie has a invented a new way of watching TV. It involves standing on her head on the couch. It is the weirdest funniest thing I've ever seen one of our kids do and I'd totally take a picture of it, but she's not dressed right now and I don't want my new friends from hi5 to get any ideas. One of these days I'll get a pic of it, because I am pretty sure she's not going to be still doing this when she's 14*.

In other, non-head-standing news, I am getting ready to post my review of my new camera that was generously given to me and other writerly sorts of people by Kodak and the coolio presentation we had on taking better family pics at Riverdale Farm a few weeks ago. Em is still talking about how much fun she had and I have had a ball using my new camera. I've set up a new review page, but as usual, I've let other crap get in my way and I haven't gotten it designed and linked yet.

Four more days of school. Four more days. We all can't wait.

*If she STILL is watching TV upside down when she's 14, I will be calling the circus. I've always wanted a carnie for a son-in-law.

Comments

[Lisa]

Haha Kimber, this had me cracking up!

I can't stand packing lunches either.