So I Went to Detroit

And probably ruined my liver.

It was totally worth it.

It's not every day you go to the local Wal-Mart and find one of these babies in your stall. Apparently the loving couple could not wait to get home. Most likely they went home on different buses that day. And this was the Wal-Mart the Lisa *assured* me was the nicest one in MI. Yes, it's so nice that all the dudes are bringing their would-be baby mamas there to buy a cheap test.

(I've never seen a used pregnancy test in a Target bathroom. Just sayin'.)

This is my new boyfriend. You'll notice he is unshaven.

We went to the mall to buy ME a purse*, but Lisa is so selfish she bought herself a hat. Don't tell her it's kind of dated. Also? Check out that scarf in the back. I should have convinced her that it was a good match with the hat.

 

When Lisa wasn't looking, which was A LOT, I took pictures of myself in the bathroom. Not that I had a lot of free time. It's just that she was  either passed out, shaving her cat or making eggs. For herself.

We did a lot of eating out. Meat-based meals. We were like dudes, only less hairy and with cuter purses. We had the cutest waiter at Buffalo Wild Wings one night. We were the only chicks there not wearing a Nascar shirt. I think the waiter thought we were lesbians. Which was after he saw me kissing Lisa.

*Speaking of purses, I was in such a hurry to pack, I threw my wallet in my diaper bag and hopped in the car on Thursday. MY DIAPERBAG. Yeaaaah, awesome. So very fashionable.

So we went purse shopping.

And then more purse shopping.

I discovered I really am THE PICKIEST PERSON EVAR.

Eventually I found a black leather Zoe purse. I LOVE IT.

And then Lisa bought a totally cute brown Coach tote. I am going to steal it next time I am there because I will distract Lisa with a bottle of Merlot and cassette mix tape.

Saturday night, Lisa made me go to her sister's party. It was extremely fun, especially when some of the party goers had a grope fest right next to our table. It was like a frat party for 40 year olds.

Thanks for the extremely fun weekend, Lisa. I can't thank you enough for letting me come to your house and sit around and get drunk with you. I can't wait to do it again.

xoxoxo

Comments

[Courtney]

I just wanna know how she held her morning wee-wee until Walmart opened..... ?

[Me]

Courtney, I want to know that too! Also? Ewwwww. ;)

[pprlisa]

1. Could my face BE any bigger in that pic. I took tons of pics, you chose the ones where I look bad and you look great? Nice friend.

B. That IS a nice Wal-Mart and you even admitted it. So shut it and buy me some GD peeps - Give. Me. The. Peeps - you sorry excuse for a mother.

III. If you had awaken prior to noon any of these days I would have gladly made you eggs. And bacon.

d. Quit trying to make everyone believe that you didn't plant that Prego Test to pump up your blog traffic.

5. OMG it was so great having you here. I know it was lame "excursion-wise" but I selfishly wanted you ALL TO MYSELF. Also, I'm lazy. Also, also, thanks for coming, please come back soon my "cat" and I miss you terribly.

[PopDaddy]

What? No AFTER pictures of the cat? Clearly you're not using the internets properly. Monetize, baby! (or did I just miss the "members login here" button somewhere?)

Kimber, as the last one to meet Lisa in the flesh (stop it), you should be required to plan the next group "session." Just sayin'.

-PD

p.s. How 'bout Miami? You're both too good looking for Detroit...

[Karen Swim]

I could not resist Lisa's tweet and so glad I did not! Thanks for the belly laugh! I live in MI but never been to a Walmart here, now I am afraid, very afraid. Sounds like a great weekend minus you know the bathroom incident. :-)

[Karly]

I, uh, don't want to disillusion you about the classy Wal-Mart patrons or anything, but I'm pretty sure the reason they took the test in the bathroom was because they couldn't actually afford to purchase the test and they were too nervous about the alarms to stick it in their purse and take it home. You should stick to Target from now on. LOL

[Me]

Karly, do you really think it was a stolen test? Because HA, FUCKING, HAAAAAA.
That shit is funny.
Karen, thanks for visiting! I'm sure you are a totally classy MI girl.

[Talia AKA @TalTalK]

Y'all are so cute!!! I'm jealous.

And Kimburrr, you don't write enough. You're hilarious. (And it's not easy to make me laugh these days, FYI.)