Too Fabulous for Words: August 2008

Dude, that's a whole lot of fucking tweets.

And where has this gotten me? These past months of tweeting with mah tweets? Twittering madly on Friday nights? The inside jokes? The shameless (but harmless) flirting? And the many, many new friends from all across the country and world?

It's been some of the best time well wasted.

This just in: Twitter has changed mah life. (Shut it, haterz.) I have met so many wonderful people, work contacts and friends. Real friends, who have been so invaluable in these really craptastic months.

Thanks, y'all. You guys are teh bomb diggity and I love you all. Except for @PopDaddy. I "just" like you, dude. ;-)

So, here, for your enjoyment (or if you can't wait to be bored) here's my timeline of mah friends:

(DISCLAIMER #1: If you are not into Twitter or social media or me, I aplogize in advance. I needed to do SOMETHING for my 10K tweet and this seemed apropos. New post coming soon, I swear.)

(Disclaimer #2: If I missed someone, please don't hate me. I made this list by trolling my own inbox [Kimbah's Inbox at Zero=FAIL.] I'm positive I missed many, many peeps. And I had a hard time searching because some of y'all have changed your screen names, so please don't hate me. I really focused on folk whom I talk with daily, so if I missed you IT'S ALL MAH FAULT. Doesn't mean you shouldn't @FabGirl me and tell me.)

(Disclaimer #3: I am not not hotlinking any of the following because I am a lazyass and spent all afternoon digging around in my inbox, so now I am just tired and crabbeh. Go and search them if you want to know some kick ass people, you brats.)

@joiedevie April 7 (One of my first real non-spammy followers. Even if he is 12.)

@VanillaCokeHead April 14 (Meet Brian! He has some funneh 80's avatars of himself and he's just a really nice guy. First person to be mah friend on FB, too.)

@WritingMother April 15 (Mah friend Heather from Alberta. I totally made her join Twitter because I'm mean like that.)

@jenweissman April 16 (Another writerly mama and a very nice girl. For a lawyer. Heee.)

@kikarose April 16 (Brand new freelancer! Hire her!)

@drurobseth April 17 (Lynn wrote a book. Somebody buy it!)

@SValleyDiva (Another writer mom and cool kiddo!)

@Shawnz (Queen of music lyrics and owner of some hot gams.)

@RandomNicole April 19 (Queen of the headstab revolucion)

@Seeisicrox April 19 (He's like 10 years old, but he's a nice guy.)

@Paqueenie April 20 (My long-time lovely Australian very good friend, currently trapped in MN.)

@FrankMartin April 21 (Smart, handsome and taken, ladies.)

@eeUS April 23 (Vicky! Queen of the LOLLizardz)

@YatPundit April 27 (Always keeps an eye out for the racks on Twitter!)

@TalTalk April 28 (Mah favorite Israeli-Texan)

@WestleyAnnis May 6 (@YatPundit's cohort in boob watching)

@WendyM May 7 (She's real purty! And mah fellow crap TV watcher.)

@QueenofSpain May 9 (Who needs CNN when you've got Erin? She's my link to Democracy.) @MrsStranahan May 10 (My own personal stalker)

@pprlisa May 10 (One of my favorite new BFF's and Leader of the Anti-Pl*rk Revolucion)

@lizwebpage May 10 (My fave all-around fun gal)

@jayhmt May 13 (A really good friend and mah tweetie, but not MY tweetie, so calm down @akakmonty)

@SarahWurrey May 14 (My compadre in the Quest to bug ---->) @scottypboston May 14 (Owner of some sparkly jeans and fan of butterflies- Hee)

@PopDaddy May 15 (Former cabana boy. Fired for sleeping on the job. Bugs us all with his fake Cockney accent.)

@typeamom May 15 (A real smart cookie)

@prgully May 15 (PR Guru and father of some very cute kids)

@justTamar May 16 (She's still waiting for my wine.)

@MouthyGirl May 16 (That's not a tie she's sporting in her avatar.)

@hieronymous May 18 (One of mah favorite computer geeks.)

@JessicaKnows May 19 (One of the best multi-taskers I know!)

@dthomasdigital May 21 (Uhm, Linux lover? Or something. Mah little penguin!)

@mommastantrum May 21 (Seriously overcaffeinated Booby McChatty Pants.)

@macgasm May 22 (Together we will fight to rid the world of Nickelback)

@stranahan May 23 (married to my stalker and also a source for News You Can Use.)

@sandraew May 24 (Hey, finally! A follower from Ontario!)

@MarkSalinas May 25 (He makes me feel guilty about all that butter and sour cream I ate.)

@Coreyjf May 27 (OMG, Corey Feldman is following me! And he's not that washed up 80's actor.)

@akaMonty May 27 (She's always saying her rack is better than mine. Silly girl.)

@adriennevh May 28 (Whaddya mean you're not following her? I will cutchoo.)

@mmWine May 28 (He likes wine. And mani/pedis. And perhaps boyzilians. Just saying.)

@clapifyoulikeme May 29 (Am old enough to be her mother. Must stop swearing.)

@kionee May 29 (GAH, another person on this planet who likes beans on toast.)

@prp2 May 29 (Mah little Petey and fellow Party without your Pants-er.)

@mindmyview May 29 (A real tweetie. Go see for yourself.)

@MrsHannigan May 29 (Fighter of cyber bullies)

@stales May 29 (She's a fighter. So watch it.)

@nuthinfancy May 29 (If you ride you bike over to her house, her dog might eat your pedals.)

@mikedoe May 30 (Comedian. Recently cut from I Love New York 2. Still mad about it.)

@nmckinney May 31 (Likes to poke me with a stick.)

@abashima June 3 (My little dungeons & dragons lover.)

@bentoboxx June 7 (His cat Roger lives a better life than most people.)

@mkhall June 8 (He loves receiving random texts.)

@Nattalini June 7 (She's nicer than I'll ever be.)

@CalamityJen June 17 (Really? June 17th, Jen? Why do I feel like we should have known each other longer?)

@JuliaGoolia June 22 (Loves me some Goolia. And she's only 23.)

@donthorp June 22 (He loves to wear a beret. A raspberry one.)

@grumpifrog June 22 (My writerly friend, Sue. She likes frogs.)

@zemote June 23 (Mah FIBF.)

@WTF I had no new people in July? The hell?

@marz No idea. (My fellow @akaMonty fan.)

@JeremyHerbel Again, no idea. (My new cabana boy.)

@eldevlin August 3 (She's a guinea pig who has a penchant for hats.)

Pant-pant-pant. Oh mah gawd, y'all. That just about killed me. Who hasn't killed themselves after reading all that shiz? Because I am searching for my noose.

So can I move on now?

As an aside, I had all of the above written in a notebook and after @eldevlin was written @LrgPeckr and August 6. And I was like, "What the fuck? I don't follow that person!" And then I realized it was my husband's handwriting. What a total tool.

Annnnnd, I think I need a drink. Hit me up, Buttercups!

Holla!

(I KNOW! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN?)

I can't believe it's August. It seems like just the other day it was July. Oh, wait. It was.

Have had week from hell. No, make that The Week from Hell, Hell, Hell™. Trying to catch up on work, unpacking, vacuuming sand out of everything and keeping the kids entertained has made Kimbah a very cranky person.

(Digression #1: As I type this I am wearing a plastic safari hat. I look awesome.)

Anyway, am finally uploading the pics from the cottage, because interwebs? I've got nothing for you. Nothing. Zippo. Zilch. Nada. Am most boring and uncreative person on the planet.

(Digression #2: As I type this, I'm watching Tori & Dean: Home, Sweet Hollywood. Because my life? Is teh suck.)

Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, the cottage. We had a fabulous week up North. Somehow I survived the no internet, no cable thing without needing rehab. I suppose all the alcohol I consumed helped with that. The kids fished, swam, canoed and ate all sorts of s'mores. I read three books, sat in the sun, texted randomly and actually ate a hot dog.

A FUCKING HOT DOG, Y'ALL.

(Digression #3: As I type this, the toddleh is walking by carrying a purple Sharpie. Which is permanent ink. And I'm letting her. Mother of the Year, I am not.)

Before we left for the cottage, I downloaded all sorts of Playhouse Disney shows for the toddleh and Hannah Montana shows for the other two kids. (Can I just say that this was the BEST idea evar? It was invaluable when it rained. Which happened almost every day while we were away. Why had I never thought of that before?) The eldest offspring declined to come to the cottage, AGAIN, because he's a big fat baby and can't live without technology. Also, he had to work. Whatevs.

(Digression #4: OMG, that totally reminds me of Kip's wedding song, "Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever. We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom. Sure the world wide web is great but you, you make my salivate. Yes, I love technology but not as much as you, you see. But I STILL love technology. Always and forever."

We went into town a few days to poke around in the cute little downtown stores and buy more groceries. (Digression #5: Guess how much money we spent on groceries while we were away for ONE WEEK? Go on, guess...Oh, all right, I'll tell you. Over $800. Yeah, that's right. Are we fucking morons or what? And guess how much money the in-laws contributed? Yeah, that's right. Still steaming about that little fact. Feccccckkk.) While in town, we hit the little indy bookstore and the beach store where I bought (hold me) a pair of these. In the chocolate/cotto color. Can you fecking believe it? I shall now prepare for Suzy to come and smite me for making such a purchase. (But duuuudde, they are so comfy! And they are pink! And brown! Squeeee!)

What's that? Enough about plastic shoes and let's get onto the pictures? Geez, interwebs, you are such a brat sometimes...

Behold the power of mah film making skillz:

Download P7210001

Notice how Emmersen melts down! She wants to slide, bitch! Take her to the damn slide!

Awww, there's the slide.