Too Fabulous for Words

Because I'm a Losah

Geeeeez. Am getting harassed on email, IM and Twitter for not updating. Am sorry! Am in the middle of cleaning, writing, organizing and packing for our annual trip up North to the cottage. No excuse, I know.

How about some pictures for now? Will that sate your blog-thirsty appetites?

(OKAY, AM TOTALLY PHONING IT IN TODAY.)

Yes, that's a cheesy toddleh smile. I'm pretty sure I took this after lunch. Note the pajamas. That's some good parenting there.

I've been drinking  A LOT of iced coffee lately. I've noticed my hair is shinier and my boobs are bigger because of it. Uhm, not.

Look! I even write while I am in the shower! Am a multi-tasking wiz!

WOW. Have a greenish thumb. Am a master gardener.

I swear toilet rat story coming very soon. Perhaps after I throw some laundry in the washer. And get out the suitcases. And finish this article.

Oh, man mah head hurts. Please send halp.

Winners!

Oh, it was a rocky road, but we finally got some entries that were just close enough, especially since I was going crazy not being able to reply!

Here are the winning entries:

WestleyAnnis: @pprlisa @FabGirl said no boobs involved. I think we can rule outPlayboy, but to hedge the bets, I'll take "pose for Penthouse"

justtamar: @FabGirl Voted most likely to write articles for Playboy.

And what was I voted for? Most Likely to Write Letters for Penthouse Forum. Because I was the biggest, nerdiest geek in high school. True story.

Here are some of the other entries which entertained me to death. Am still trying to recover.

•  Most likely to write a Dear John letter...multiple times.
  most likely to write a stalker letter to an ex.
  
• most likely to write a commercial for Oreo cookies.
• most likely to write recipes for a cooking magazine.
•   was voted mostly likely to write a song for KISS.
•   most likely to win an olympic medal
• most likely to write a column for the New Yorker. 
•   most likely to write encyclopedias for Brittanica
•   "Most likely to write your own eulogy"
•   voted most likely to dedicate her life to helping others. (you look like a real sweetheart)
•   most likely to write the Unibomber's manifesto"
•   most likely to write their name on a bathroom wall
• Voted most likely to write Bill Clinton's Memoir! 
•   Voted most like to write the speech for valedictorian 'cause he wasn't smart enough to write it himself.
• Most likely to write for Saturday Night Live.
•   voted most likely to be a presidential speech writer most likely to write a Bartender's Guide for Dummies :-)
•   Most likely to write an autobiography!
•   Most likely to be: extradited, pissed off, amused, shopping, a vet, rescuing kitties, multilingual, married. (Not in same day.)
•   was most likely to be a rodeo clown
•   Voted most likely to end up in jail????
•   Most likely to spend gobs of money on a baby crib to go unused.
•   "most likely to spearhead a girl gang"
•   Most Likely to Crack a Penis Joke in Spanish While Driving in Canada with Your Seatbelt On. (Yeah, read your "about" page.) ;o)
•  most likely to have the best rack on Twitter! :-P
•   Most likely to drink a keg in one go
•   most likely to die under unusual circumstances
•   Most likely to be caught naked with a dwarf, a goat and a chainsaw
•   most likely to still cruise the highschool parking lot years after graduating
•   Most likely to be the neighborhood cat lady.
• AND FINALLY: 
• Most likely to be a serial killer.
• NICE ONE. 
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Win Two Bottles of Niagara's Finest by Entering FabGirl's #8000 Tweet Contest!

Okay, here are the details:

I have only two (2) tweets left until I hit 8,000, so I can NOT answer your questions. The rules are simple:

Guess what I was voted Most Likely to Be in High School.

See? Easy. Right? Right.

All your entries must be via Twitter and @FabGirl. Comments here are only for those of you who want to gripe about the lack of rats in toilets posts.

You can enter as many times as you like.

In the case of multiple RIGHT answers, I can use my discretion as to whether I like one of you best. No, am kidding. The first one to tweet it wins. ;-)

Special FabGirl loooove goes to those who retweet this for me as I can't do it myself. (See above)

And for those of you who think this is going to be easy, the answer does not involve boobs, booze or getting laid by a rockstar or politician.

I will announce with my 8,000th tweet who is the winner. And then we can all feckin' move on.

And go!

This Post Brought to You by the Letter "S" for SUCK

OH, INTERNETS. I know. I have sucked harder in the past few weeks than evah before. But I promise you that today I shall post pictures, recipes and a story about a rat in the toilet. I haven't told you that before, have I, Lauren?

I swear the suckitude* will soon cease and possibly desist.

Please forgive?

*Awesome word, no? The septic tank business can rest easy now.