Or how Miss Kimber is a fucking moron...
Hi! Hello! I am writing to let you know that I am not dead. Nor kidnapped. Nor stricken with a weird hand disease where I can no longer type or even peck dejectedly at the keyboard like a starving and balding chicken.
It is SO much simpler than that.
I'm just a moron.
Because I'm going to pretend I've had a glass
glasses of wine I am going to recap the past 4.5 months.
Uhm, October...Mom arrived. We did some stuff. Drank some wine. She complained about the (cough-cough-cooooouuuuuuugh) dust. She went home. We then went back up to the cottage. Ah, clean air. Crisp breeze. Lovely orangey red foliage. We saw a fox. A friendly one. Caught nary a fish. Had some wine. Halloween. Kids were (in order of age) A businessman (snore), a devil and a giraffe. Threw out candy on November 6.
November. Wah? Something, something Christmas shopping. Something, something...had a shower?
December. 11 year-old boy-child became 12 year old pre-teen. Yawn. Whatever. Still acts like a 5 year old. Husband turned 40. EGADS! I am married to a forty-year old? NONONONONO. Okay, maybe. Then, Christmas. OH, the over-commercialization of this family. We got 4 (count 'em FOUR) iPods this Christmas. Alex got the stupid iTouch (Covetous, yes, but HELLO! $$$$!!) and the younger kids (and I!) got iPod Nano Videos, which y'all will be impressed to know I just OPENED YESTERDAY. Yeah, February 10th. Huh. Okay, then there was New Year's Eve, which I'm pretty sure we spent at the in-laws, where there was lotsa wine and not much else.
January. We got rid of the tree, swept up the needles and packed for Hotlanta. We went down to Georgia for a goodish week to attend the gift show and relax. Was lovely. Baby was a dream in the car for the 18 hour ride. Mackaroonie got sick on the way home with a horrible fever and I got all panicky and started screeching about meningitis and was nervous and shaky and made the husband stay an extra night in Cleveland.
February. I distinctly remember the cat barfing in Keat's room the other night. Oh, and we ordered Chinese Saturday night and it stunk. NO, REALLY. It was last train to Suckville. And then there was this thing that I did that was really funny (HAHAHAHA another bruise! Hilarity ensues at Casa D'Kimber! Ho!) But that is for another day, cause I really gotta go clean up some cat puke and maybe send those Christmas cards.
OH, have I mentioned how much I missed you, My Dear Internets? Wanna make-out?
HO-HO-HO! I almost forgot! I let my domain expire and then I lost my email and then I couldn't remember my password, nor was my password reminder theleastbithelpful, so then I lose.
P.S. It took me at least 45 minutes to rid my site of spammy comments and LORD! do I need a Xanax! Or maybe some Viagara! I feel a fit of nerves coming on.