1. Getting woken up by the husband at 5:45 so he can go on his walk and NOT being able to go back to sleep.
2. Having the cat pounce onto my bladder and then proceed to start bathing. Step off, bitch! I'm trying to sleep here!
4. The words tangy, moist and spongy. Like, ewww.
5. Having an early dismissal day today at school when the kids have only been in school for 2 bloody weeks.
6. Hurricanes. I mean really, they are so last year. Down with Death & Destruction! Up with People!
7. The fact that only ONE Chinese restaurant has potstickers and delish dim-sum, but their fried rice sucks and they don't do chicken egg foo young.
8. Having a husband with the libido of a 19-year-old frat boy.
9. That no one has invented a self-loading-unloading dishwasher. Sure we can attempt face transplants and run cars on rotting cow poo, but I have to spend a million hours of my life cleaning off the kitchen counter?
10. After generously letting the elderly lady behind me go to the bank teller first and then having the old bat pull out an inch thick folder of bills that she INTENDED TO PAY TODAY while I WAIT for her crabby ass. And the bank teller? Kept giving me looks like, "Ooopsie! Sorry!" while she was getting berated for not doing the bill paying faster. Note to old lady: It helps if you OPEN the envelope at home and WRITE the checks AT HOME.
11. Discovering that it seems 97% of the mothers from school are pregnant. How nice for them.
12. Spending eleventy hours cleaning the kids' rooms and making way for the application of new paint and the arrival of furniture, only to find out furniture is not going to be here until next week.
13. Getting a frantic phone call from a client asking where their proof is, when in fact, the proof is not due until NEXT MONTH.
14. Finding out that my expert for my latest article is on vacation STILL, although he was supposed to be back in the office last week.
15. People with poor posture. JUST CUT IT OUT ALREADY. If you only knew how shit you look shlumping around with your stomach all poochy and your back a perfect C.
16. The giant egg sitting on my forehead from my Encounter with the Cupboard. No amount of make-up can mask my own klutziness. Perhaps I'll bang the other side and be all symmetrical. Cos that's hott.
17. Spending $312 on groceries only to come home and discover that I forgot bread. Bread! That's like forgetting to breathe. Perhaps I really do have a concussion.
18. Spending $312 on groceries. What's up with that? Since when did we start eating so much? I mean it's not like we are all 600lbs. I think the kids' friends have been surreptitiously eating here too. Either that or it's the damn cats making Crepes Suzette while I'm out.
19. The little Red Cross box which sits at the counter at the wine store. I think I've stuffed over $25 in there during the
many few times that I've bought vino.
20. Feeling guilty for guilting some lurkers into commenting on my last post. It won't happen again. I swear. Well, we'll see.