Or the one where Kimber loses her tenuous grip on her sanity.
Oy. Do you know CRAZYTOWN? Cos, Dear Internet, that's where I am.
While I've been filling my face with Filet-O-Fishes and ignoring you, I've been frantically finishing up my articles for July, WHICHIHADTODOEARLY (which SUCKED) running around for end-of-the-year gifts, attending the kids' play-day, chauffeuring the eldest child to and from his exams, helping the husband finish HIS work, watering my plants 10 billion times because it's 8,756 F outside, getting a fabulous pedicure, shopping for some new clothes for ALL 3 kids, attending the Copper Leaf grand opening, celebrating my 13th wedding anniversary, giving out blow jobs wantonly, swimming, helping the middle child make a castle, cleaning all sorts of shit up, sleeping, eating mashed potatoes, and TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT I LEAVE IN ONE WEEK FOR CALIFORNIA.
Yeah. It's not really working for me.
Oh, dear Lord, I have so muchly to do and I've woken up the past 4 nights at 4:00 am having panic attacks, replete with heaving bosoms and teeth gnashing, which of course tells my wee bladder that I must get up and use the toity.
It's been fun.
Today is the last day of school and I ABSOLUTELY must finish up all the things on my list that involve things like quiet, cleanliness and not being asked every 7 seconds if I can pour some more juice and would I mind buying ketchup chips next time.
Oh. Have I mentioned that my house looks as if a hurricane blew through it? NO? Well, guess what, it does. The kids have been bringing home mountains of paper, nubbly crayons, assorted plasticy/moldy lunch containers and sweatshirts from their lockers and desks at school for the past week. I never knew they had so much junk squirreled away. Ugh. And where to put a full school year's of detritus? Right now I'm voting for the garbage.
I've mentioned before that I have a serious case of I-can't-leave-my-house-in-such-a-mess-syndrome, so of course the house will be tidied and shiny before I leave. I just need to find out if the kids can sleep through the whhhrrr of the vacuum at 3:00 am because that'll be the only time I can do it.
The husband has been alternating between panicky and shouty whilst he prepares his companies for his departure. This morning he came home to tell me that one of his maintenance crews' trailers had caught fire and all $25,000 worth of equipment blew up in a most impressive fiery blaze. Yes, that's right it burned, baby, it burned. Like fire-department-needing-to-be-called-burned. Thank god the crew was able to unhitch it from the truck, because if it hadn't, well, the husband may have been wheeeet-wheeet-wheeeting his way to the ER.
Go ahead and laugh now because we already have. It doesn't get any better than this, I tell ya.
Meanwhile I am finishing a bitch of an article, downloading more music for the iPod and wondering if it's normal to want a bowl of stuffing for breakfast (multi-tasking at its finest!)I have lots to tell you about: like the Mac Mini that the husband bought for our anniversary, the daughter's new haircut (six inches gone!), my new bathing suit, my search for a new purse and why I'm annoyed at the check-out lady at the grocery store, but ALAS! it must wait until I finish the cleaning, writing, rewriting and banging my head on my desk. Repeatedly.