Then be sure to splendidize your own self.....
May be off to the hospital soon. Egads, kids! My poor bebe........
My attempt to be arty failed with my so-called friends. Splendid! Whatever, people. Splendid! Do you see me banging spiffingly on about your journals? Of course not. Rather! Dear me, i have waaaay more couth than that . I say, i just sit and stew about it endlessly to myself and sometimes think hateful things like "Shut UP, loser!" or "You're smelly and don't know diddledy about design!" Then I go have some cashews or macadamias and feel all special. How shaming!
Am so stuffed from Thanksgiving. Oh my! Darling, may die, which is, and I don't mean to be bogus, just too bogus! Darling, send help. It's so damned unfair! Dash me twice, do not send drugs. Ugh, how morbid! My dear child, have plenty, thanks. The simply splendid shame!
Did enormous Christmas shop today and finally sent out major Christmas card bonanza to lucky-ducky friends. Golly!
Daughter still quite sickly and may need to go to the divine hospital tonight, my dear fellow! Ugh, and I think it's utterly splendid! The ghastly boys are horridly quite chipper and felt need to ask for le gourmet foodie de McDonald's. Oh my!
Am working pricelessly on my fave things list for your holiday enjoyment. Good heavens! Darling, get charge cards out in preparation. It's so damned unfair!
I should really try and stop planning my life. Honestly. All the time I take to make lists, organize my time and be prepared goes to hell in a handbasket the moment someone gets sick. So I'm thinking, if I stop planning, maybe they won't get sick?
Woke up this morning to find the middle child fully fevered up and whining at full lung about his lower lip quivering. Asked me to stop it. Briefly considered using the forceful pillow method, but decided better of it and just tucked blanky around chin and proceeded to get the kiddie codeine out. (okay, so it's only acetominophen)
Have got to get to store today to purchase food products for Turkey Day. Am not willing to drag along two sickly children, so must come up with novel solution. (Perhaps I'll enlist help of f-i-l since he's retired and can sit with the sicckies.) Oldest boy traipsed off to school today as his fever had subsided and he really couldn't think of any more excuses to stay home. He might have been supremely bored too.
I've got some major writing to finish up this week, which will have to be fit in between tending to sick kids and cooking. I have one ghastly revision due next week so am not sure when I'm going to get the chance to head to TO to get some shopping done. Am dying to get to Pottery Barn and purchase some of their fab Christmas decor. Have been rifling through my MSL mags to get some ideas for decor since I've decided to go with a glam look this year instead of the old standby- woodsy Christmas wonderland.
Got my first Christmas card in the mail yesterday. Huh. It's not even Thanksgiving yet. Was very nice to be thought of though, and I love getting piccies. (Hint-hint)
Am off to pick out some more holiday pressies here for my lurvely friends (and editors) indeed. Oops, I mean I'm getting back to work. (hey, a portion of this v. important shopping is a tax-right-off, people!)
Utter chaos reigns at the FabGirl house. To your left you'll find a feverish 14-year-old whimpering on the couch while flicking through 247 channels of daytime TV. To your right, a sad and v. sick 5-year-old lies in bed listlessly and asks to be brought to school. And in the middle you'd find moi, tired, wrinkled and utterly sick of cleaning up used tissues, taking temps and washing germy sheets. Oy, the life of a mother.
Oh, and then there is the m-i-l that rings every 23 seconds to see if I "need" anything. Uhm, perhaps some peace and quiet? A few less ill children? A bus that I can throw myself in front of?
Things could be much, much worse (and I know it) so I'm praying that everyone is healthy for Thanksgiving because I have 47 million peeps showing up for turkey and pie-flavored products. We aren't eating until Friday because here in Canada they don't celebrate Thanksgiving in November (it's actually October) and Thursday is just a regular day for them. Trying to organize the husband's family into arriving early on a Thursday is unheard of and always met with much grumbling. (Hey, folks! It's free food, so shurrup.) So my plan this year is to cook and bake on Thursday amidst the MD parade and then dine on Friday. The kids will get the day off on Friday from school and we'll play cheesy board games whilst the turkey cooks, the sticky buns rise and their father screams at the TV (football, natch).
Am so bloody behind on work due to last week illness and press trip. Note to self and other freelance-type folks: don't over-extend yourself so much so that a crappy germ can give you stress-related imsonia due to pressing deadlines.
Have determined that I have 4 Christmas-type festivities to attend this year, which is 3 more than I have outfits for and adds to stress level immensely. If 3 out of the 4 weren't so "important" (read:boring and stuffy) I'd just go in my new GAP hot pink leisure suit. (Then I found out that the husband is sniggering behind back because I looked as if I was wearing something from Frayne's Fashions. Note to self: Anything that the elderly set would sport is not high fashion, even if the GAP sells it.)
Have funny little post-it-type sticky tabs that say different phrases like "Must have" and "What were you thinking?" Have been using them for my book/mag research, but think that they could do double-duty and work on pictures too. Especially those pics of yourself with big-ass 80's hair and drop-shouldered neon shirts. Not that I ever had any embarassing pictures, mind, I was always very behind the times. (Read: nerd) Heh. But I'm sure I could dig up some beautes of my BFs and some of their tack-o-rama-hairstyles. Heee.
Those of you who despise David Hasselhoff as much as I do will love this. It's a sure crowd-pleaser and will get your whole office a-rockin. Or at least waste the next three minutes of your life.
It's very hard to sniffle and retch at the same time.
Climbing back into bed.....
Lawdy, what a weekend. Was infected with new Hanta/SARS/Monkey/Mystery virus over the weekend, most likely a result of two nights out in a row. Am now hacking/coughing/fevering/dying. Most pleasant considering I have four thousand assignements this week and absolutely NO ambition.
Did have fab time at dinner/dance Saturday night. Girlfriends and I boogied the light fantastic or at least tried after acting all shy at our table for the first 30 minutes. DJ managed to get us off the chairs in a flash with rousing rendition of "I'm Too Sexy." I know, we are dorks of the worst kind. Was worth the money spent just to watch the boomers dancing to "Love Shack" and "Hit Me, Baby". Huh. Shoot me now.
Woke up Sunday with sore throat and feverish temps. Was sure I was full of consumption, but family assured me that funeral plans weren't imminent. PTL. Actually thought I'd have 25 seconds to relax.
Husband has recommended to me that getting an assistant isn't so "out there" as he may have previously thought. Between new project (which I got-Ta-da!) and numerous writing-ish responsiblities, he thinks that I might need, wellllll, help. Oh, really, honey? And he's had a secretary/support staff for how long?
Can't even begin to fathom interviewing help. Had hard enough time trying to find a cleaning lady (CL) without nervous breakdown. (I'm a terrible employer. I'm such a doormat. Surrrre, smoke away in here! Yessss, take that vacation for 13 weeks! We'll survive!) A goodly friend of mine has an intern (actually she's on her 3rd) and it sounds like a fab situation. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to fit in teaching this winter, along with all these other writerly obligations, so maybe, just maybe some help would be good.
Have made good dent into Christmas/Holiday/Hannukah shopping. Have fair share of Jewish friends who expect my Martha-ish pressies for their Chanukah celebrations. Seem to invited 17 people to Thanksgiving without my knowing. Will I need a bigger turkey? Or should I just pull the tofurkey out? Mmmmmm....... Perhaps I blacked out, or maybe I'm just a natural born entertainer (like Liza minus the fake eyelashes and weird husbands.)
Must go tend to familial matters and get into bed. Am alternately burning up/freezing my tookus off. Am wearing chenille wooly socks and shorts. Fashion statement I am not.
To Do List for tomorrow:
1. Clean litter box
2. Fax guest list for PR event
3. Buy drugs from reliable source
4. Administer drugs in timely fashion
5. Fall asleep during interview with kids-wear fashionista
6. Blame drugs for heavy snoring
7. Send article(s) laden with numerous drug-induced typos
9. Write note in bold letters to invoice on Wednesday, as am sure self won't get to it tomorrow
10. Order Tofurkey
Okay, not to lament about what a sucky week it was, but am I glad it's almost over. Between the snow flurries, warm snap, wind damage, last minute revisions, Christmas shopping and Thanksgiving prep, I'm pooped. Did I mention the husband keeping me up at night? HUH, huh, did I?
In the not so distant past, I remember a time when I vowed to not work on Fridays. SNORT! Boy, that went out the window. Have made new resolution to tell ed's that I'm BUSY on any and all Fridays and to clean abode on Thursdays. With new super-project submitted, I have recommitted self to a four-day work week. It's honestly been taking over my life and I need a break.
Ordered my new glasses today. Had decided on black, but had the girl order tortie ones yesterday so I could compare. Was v. convenient because the eldest boy happened to get squashed in face by stray volleyball yesterday at school and therefore needed new pair, so we traipsed in today together. The child's glasses were under warranty (yippee) and mine came to a cool $250, which is better than I bargained for. Heh.
Have mucho chiquitas arriving here tonight, so I must be concise. Have no vino (which is fine because someone is bringing loads), no snackies (or even Atkin's approved snacks- ) so must shop
and there is tons o'cat hair on the terracotta floors. Yikes.
Am going to make spinach-y salad with loads o'bacon, artichoke dip and deli meat/cheese tray. Is good with the vino, no? I have a ricotta/tomato/basil tart that I'm dying to try, but once again am too late to start. Have one friend who has a had terrible week so we'll try and bring out the laughs and the booze to help stave off the blues.
Husband has new acct. that owns a high-end shoe store. Asked me today if I was interested in any shoes. Before I could even look askance at him, he replied, "That's silly. What woman couldn't use another pair of shoes?" Tee heee heee. I've trained that man so well! Awwwwwww, almost makes me want to repay him in ahem, favors, but since I have the girls in... NOT. (Sorry, Miss Chatelaine, but he's gonna have to wait.)
Have a good weekend kids. Be good, kiss the kiddos and don't stay up all night with the husbands. Sheesh! We need some sleep forgodssake!
BTW, am reading Kiss My Tiara by Susan Jane Gilman (and you know what I feel about women named Susan!) It's most FAB, fab, faboo book on being a woman today. I lurvvve it and I haven't laughed out loud at a NF book in a long time. Buy it today!
Hee hee. It's just THAT good. Hilarious!
Mwah, my pets! I must go frolic in the kitchen and get ready for the guests!
Well, you writerly folk sure are quick. I haven't replied to everyone yet, but it looks like the books are gone. I'll get back to you about the NF bookies too, once I get a chance to write up a little list of all the books I have.
Must go find bedraggled self some caffeine products and get the boys ready for school. Had hideous night trying to sleep while husband chatted me up till all hours, wind howled, gate door crashed about in gale force winds and cat stomped all over head.
Unfortunately, have interview scheduled in 1.5 hours on a subject that will most likely bewilder me. Just trying to set up the date and time with Dr. Obfuscate was difficult enough. Meh.
Got my Amazon order today. Whoo-hoo! Ten new bookies for moi! (okay, a few were Christmas pressies) Am so excited. It's too bad I don't have a few hours to read through a couple. I've lined them up on my desk anyway, to entice me to get my ass in gear and finish up all this lingering work. (Like articles, filing and oh, GOD invoicing.I still haven't invoiced for like 10 articles. You think they care?)
Have more books for my writerly readers to scoop up. Please help me unload this crap, I mean stuff. Especially with Christmas coming, I'm going to need the extra room. Hee. I just sent the husbando my Christmas list.
Here they are:
Follow the Story: How to Write Successful Nonfiction by James B. Stewart
Finding Your Writer's Voice: A Guide to Creative Fiction by Thaisa Frank
Secrets of a Freelance Writer by Bob Bly
Write Where You Live: Successful Freelancing at Home by Elaine Fantle Shimberg
The Writer's Market Companion by WD Books
The Writer Handbook 2002 (yes, it's almost two eyars old, but Feh, still has workable markets in it.)
In other news:
Went to suss out some new specs today. Now I know some of you are shrilly screeching "But you just got new glasses last summer!" And I know, you are so right. BUT, I hate them. Honestly, they are just not me, so I'm in the market for a new pair. (Why did I purchase a metal pair? Sheesh!) I found a pair of Armani torties, but since I'm as freakin' blind as a mole rat, it was going to cost me like $600 for the stupid high-index lenses. As if! The husband (who came with me to shop) sort of snorted and said that I could get them, but I think I'd rather buy a new leather coat with that sort of moola.
Speaking of the husband, he must of caught wind of LilMissSexyPants' antics because he's been keeping me up with his amorous ploys the past few nights. Geez, like leave me alone. I'm trying to sleep. Feel v. old and shrewish, but I'm tired! It's a good thing I love this guy so much. Will perform beyond his expectations this weekend. Maybe. If I'm not reading new books.